1. How long will it take A-Rod to break Barry Bonds home run record?

2. Speaking Of A-Rod, how long did Ozzie Guillen have to stand there and pretend he didn’t see this fool scratching his balls all in his face?

3. What in the hell happened to Miami’s football program?

4. Who will melt down first this season? Randy Moss or Terrell Owens? Does anyone think Moss and Belichick will work out?

5. Who else is waiting to see what happens to Vince Young due to the madden curse?

6. Was Kirby Puckett the best fat baseball player of all time? Fucka Babe Ruth.

7. John Clayton of ESPN has the most hilarious hair I’ve ever seen in my life. Have you ever seen someone’s hair recede on the sides too? This is a full scale abort, every strand of wants to get the fuck away from his face by all means necessary, even if it means breaking the rules of hairloss.

8. When are we getting a Mike Tyson reality show?

9. Why is it, when Roger Clemens starts breaking down in his 40s, its because of old age. But when Barry Bonds starts breaking down in his 40s, its because of steroids?

10. Is there any sports show better than Pardon The Interruption? I think not. All your base belong to Tony Kornheiser. WHOOP THAT TRICK! GET ‘EM!