Right now, things aren’t looking too good for Mr. Orenthal James Simpson. On Sunday he was charged with kidnapping, armed robbery and assault when he went crazy on someone who allegedly stole his stuff. I was a little skeptical of this, until TMZ.com got a hold of an audio recording of the incident. You can clearly hear O.J. going off, he’s noticably upset, but theres no mention of a gun whatsoever. When this recording leaked, mainstream America jumped out of their seats, they’ve been waiting for some O.J. payback for 12 years now. A full scale assault to nail his balls to the wall is already well underway.

Despite this recording, and the media blitzkrieg we’re experiencing. O.J. Simpson will walk. Yeah you read it right, he’s gonna stroll out of this like Keyser Söze. This is no mortal man, this is no common petty thief. O.J. Simpson is the “Neo” of criminals, when those bullets loaded with kidnapping charges are fired at O.J. He dodges them like Agent Smith in this bish…

“Oh, I’m sorry, were you trying to stick those charges to me?.. my bad, maybe next time” – O.J. Simpson

There are several major points in this whole ordeal that have to be fleshed out, and they will determine where we go from here. First of all, The accuser wants to drop the case and says he didn’t personally feel threatened by O.J. Secondly, they have to prove a gun was involved. What also may play into this, is the fact that O.J. doesn’t have money for a dream team defense squad anymore. Johnnie Cochran is sleepin with the fishes so he can’t put in any pro bono work.

It’s gonna be an uphill battle, but didn’t Neo almost die before he triumped against the machines?