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Football has jumped to an early lead in the Sportaphile Fantasy Criminal League with an arrest not even 24 hours after scoring began.

Former Dallas Cowboys quarterback Clint Stoerner was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated, violation of the implied-consent law requiring a driver to submit to a breath-analysis test if requested by police, and violation of the city’s motor-vehicle sound limit ordinance, which are all misdemeanors. These three charges bring in a whopping 150 points for the football squad.

“There was a distinct odor of intoxicants on his breath (and) his eyes were bloodshot and glassy. Stoerner swayed when he stood still,” the police report said.

Police administered a field sobriety test, which “indicated that he was intoxicated,” and Stoerner was arrested and taken to the Washington County Jail, police said

Stoerner served five NFL seasons (four in Dallas, 2000-2003), and played for the Arkansas Razorbacks, Stoerner still holds many Razorback passing records.

Current Standings

1. Football - 150 Points
2. Baseball
3. Basketball
4. NHL Hockey
5. Wrestling
6. Golf
7. Soccer
8. Tennis
9. Auto Sports
10. Other Sports