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Carolina Panthers: Dwayne Jarrett Is A Dum Dum

October 31st, 2007 . by admin

Like most people who followed the USC Trojans in the last few years, I was waiting on Dwayne Jarrett’s entry into the NFL to see how he’d Fred Sanford Big Dummyperform with the big boys. Jarrett had a great career at USC with Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush & Lendale White, but things haven’t been as smooth in the NFL. While Leinart, Bush, and White have all had their fair share of struggles in the NFL, Jarrett can’t even get on the field.

A few weeks ago I remember reading about how not only was Jarrett not playing, he wasn’t even activated for the Carolina Panthers games. How can first round draft pick not even suit up if he’s perfectly healthy? It turns out Mr. Jarrett is a “slow learner” and hasn’t been able to digest enough of the playbook in order to earn a spot in rotation. I could understand this if Dwayne played quarterback, but he’s a wide receiver… come on now, what gives?

Carolina Panthers rookie Dwayne Jarrett was at his locker Wednesday answering questions about his frustrating season when teammate Steve Smith walked by and interrupted him.

“Instead of talking to the media, why don’t you go watch some film,” Smith said.

Jarrett broke into a half smile and started talking again.

“Seriously,” Smith said, complete with his signature glare.

There are rookie quarterbacks who are already starting (and winning) games this year (Trent Edwards), so either Carolina has the most robust and complex playbook in the history of the NFL, or Dwayne Jarrett is riding the short yellow bus to practice. We can even use other rookie wide receivers for perspective. Dwayne Bowe of the Kansas City Chiefs held out for a better contract this year, and reported late to camp, as shown in the HBO series Hard Knocks. Despite his slow start and horrible performance in training camp, week 9 is here and Bowe’s performance has been outstanding thusfar.

Apparently the type of offense Pete Caroll is running at USC doesn’t translate well to the NFL, for wide receivers at least.

Niners’ Nedney fined $7.5K; Stroud Suspended For Roids

October 31st, 2007 . by admin

Joe Nedney Flips Off FanAs expected, Joe Nedney got a little letter in the mail from the NFL regarding his old school one finger salute to the fans this sunday. Nedney has to pony up $7,500 for his “obscene gesture”:

“It was the culmination of a frustrating day for me,” Nedney said. “Rather than taking a deep breath and counting to 10, I heard something that rubbed me the wrong way at the wrong time, and I made a mistake.”


The Jaguars defensive tackle Marcus Stroud is facing a four game suspension for violating the leagues substance abuse policy. The suspension could start as early as this week, Stroud requested a B-Sample test which is a last attempt to clear his name (and body of pollutants).

“I’ll be there Sunday,” Stroud said. “I’m not here to squash rumors. I’m here to play ball. Whatever happens will happen. But right now, I’m going to focus on New Orleans. I have no comment on anything else.”

Translation: “Please leave me alone, I have no excuse, I messed up, now lets hope this B sample turns out in my favor”

This incident is another 100 points for the football squad in the Criminal Fantasy League, these guys are running away with a victory in only one month after the competition started.


And Finally, former San Diego Padre Mike Cameron has also tested positive for a banned stimulant. He filed for free agency shortly before the news of his dirty test became public, this will undoubtedly hurt the size of the contract he’s gonna get this offseason. Cameron will be suspended for the first 25 games of the 2008 season. Cameron wants everyone to be clear he wasn’t taking a steroid, but simply a naturally supplement that contained an illegal substance.

“The one thing I wanted to make sure was explained is, no steroids,” Cameron told the station. “I never took nothing like that before in my life. That would be 50 games, and that would affect me a whole lot more.”

Cameron, who turns 35 on Jan. 8, said he thinks he took a tainted supplement.

This is 100 points for the baseball squad.

Here are the updated Standings:

1. Football – 1570 Points (12 arrests, 1 positive test)
2. Other Sports – 350 Points (1 steroid allegation, 1 positive test, 1 arrest)
3. Basketball – 275 Points (4 arrests, 1 allegation)
4. Wrestling/Boxing/MMA – 200 Points (1 Positive Steroid Test, 1 arrest)
5. Baseball – 200 points (2 performance enhancers)
6. Golf
7. Soccer
8. Tennis
9. Auto Sports
10. NHL Hockey

Kimbo Slice / Mike Bourke Fight Canceled Due To Injury

October 31st, 2007 . by admin

Kimbo Slice / Mike BourkeMike Bourke revealed that his November 10th fight against the internet phenomenon Kimbo Slice has been canceled after he broke his clavicle during training. This is a huge blow to Bourke because he had taken 10 weeks off of his day job to train for this fight. The potential exposure in such an anticipated fight, along with the money from the purse are now an afterthought.

This is the second Kimbo Slice fight in a row that has been canceled due to injury, Slice was scheduled to fight Tank Abbot earlier this month before it was called off. With Bourke now out of the picture Kimbo is in search of another opponent, preferably one who can stay healthy until the fight at least.

Kimbo’s last (and first) MMA contest was against former heavyweight boxer Ray Mercer, who was submitted in a timely fashion.. check out the vid

Ving Rhames To Play Heavyweight Boxer Sonny Liston In Biopic

October 30th, 2007 . by admin

Ving Rhames will lace up the gloves in his third* boxing themed movie when he plays former heavyweight legend Sonny Liston. The film is titled Phantom Punch and will be directed by Robert Townsend, yes the same Robert Townsend who bestowed us with such classics as Meteor Man. Phantom Punch will chronicle Liston’s rise to prominence as a heavyweight fighter, and the infamous fight with Muhammad Ali that sparked his professional demise.

Ving Rhames is an excellent actor, he’s played some of the toughest characters on screen, such as Marsellas Wallace in Pulp Fiction or the ex-con Melvin in Baby Boy. But on the flip side, he played the hilarious drag queen looking thing in Holiday Heart, and a similar role in I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry. He can do it all.

*Rhames played the role of Don King in “Only In America”, and “Undisputed” alongside Wesley Snipes.

Here’s the infamous Phantom Punch video by the way…

Criminal Fantasy League Update 10/30

October 30th, 2007 . by admin

Rule number one: You do not talk about fight club
Rule number two: You do not talk about fight club

Din Thomas ArrestedMMA star Din Thomas was arrested this Tuesday for running an unsanctioned underground cagefighting operation at his gym in Palm Springs Florida.

Thomas, 31, faces a felony prohibited competitions charge after police got a tip Oct. 19 about the matches at a facility he uses in St. Lucie West.

Inside, they observed two men fighting in an octagon-shaped ring surrounded by about 150 spectators. The fights reportedly weren’t sanctioned.

This is 100 points for the MMA stars of the Criminal Fantasy League.


Missouri senior forward Darryl Butterfield was charged Friday with peace disturbance, after having a fight with his girlfriend. Butterfield’s girlfriend originally said he clocked her in the face, but he says the contact was accidental.

Butterfield was initially accused of third-degree domestic assault following his arrest in Columbia on Oct. 17, but that charge was never filed, said Andrea Hayes, assistant prosecutor for Boone County. Peace disturbance is a lesser charge, though both are misdemeanors.

Butterfield is scheduled for arraignment Oct. 30, Hayes said. He faces a maximum penalty of six months in jail.

This minor arrest counts as 50 points for the basketball squad.

Here are the updated Standings:

1. Football – 1470 Points (12 arrests)
2. Other Sports – 350 Points (1 steroid allegation, 1 positive test, 1 arrest)
3. Basketball – 275 Points (4 arrests, 1 allegation)
4. Wrestling/Boxing/MMA – 200 Points (1 Positive Steroid Test, 1 arrest)
5. Baseball – 100 points (1 HGH admission)
6. Golf
7. Soccer
8. Tennis
9. Auto Sports
10. NHL Hockey

The following stories won’t count for any points since they don’t involve actual arrests or performance enhancing drugs, but we’ll note them anyways.

Reggie Bush is being sued by his former sports marketer for allegedly accepting over $300,000 in gifts while playing at USC.

“We tried for over a year to resolve this amicably and Bush and his attorney didn’t want to reach any resolution,” said Lake’s attorney, Brian E. Watkins. “They wanted the truth to come out. Now it’s out.”

Themz iz fightin’ whurdz!!!! … Seriously though, 300,000 is chump change to Reggie, thats his weekend strip club money. The only interest in this case is seeing if anything will happen to USC as a result of Reggie breaking the rules while enrolled there.


Two LSU players were involved in a nightclub brawl, but no arrests were made. Ryan Perrilloux and reserve linebacker Derrick Odom have been suspended for the Tiger’s next game on Saturday for their part in the altercation.

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