1.Quincy Carter
Quincy lost his NFL career and a quarterbacking job in one of the most storied franchises in all of sports because he couldn’t stop smoking weed. Now he’s lost his Arena League quarterback job after being arrested for marijuana possession yet again. Since this is Quincy’s second time being caught with weed, it will be a felony charge this time. That counts as 100 points in the Criminal Fantasy League.

That is without a doubt the SADDEST mugshot photo I’ve ever seen in my life. He looks like he wants to end it all… .either that or he’s high.

2. The U.S. Congress
Instead of thinking of ways to end the war in Iraq, or helping the ravaged city of New Orleans, or solving our map shortage, they decided to honor Brett Favre this week.

WASHINGTON — The House is poised this week to pass a resolution honoring Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre for his charitable works and for setting the NFL record for career touchdown passes.

Rep. Steve Kagen, D-Appleton, has 68 House members, including the Wisconsin delegation of five Democrats and three Republicans, signing on as sponsors for his Favre resolution. Kagen, whose district includes Lambeau Field, keeps a photograph of Favre on a wall in his Washington office.

I know it doesn’t mean much when they give these honors out, but they really do have better things to spend their time on. It’s also another shining example of the startling number of American men who have a man crush on Brett Favre.

3. Akili Smith
As wise man once said, “damn homie, in high school you was the man homie”. Akili went from third overall pick in the NFL draft to being cut by a Canadian football team. Next thing we know he’ll be robbing people for their cell phones in a dark alley, Maurice Clarette style.

4. Joe Theismann
Looks like someone is still salty after being given the boot from Monday Night Football. ESPN decided to replace him with Ron Jaworski (which turned out to be a great move), and he seems to hold bitter feelings about our boy Tony Kornheiser.

What does he think of Monday Night Football now? “Ron is a terrific football guy but he happens to work on Tony’s show. It has become a three-hour Tony Kornheiser show. When I was let go, they explained they wanted more of an issue show and less about football. They’ve accomplished that.”

5. Deshawn Stevenson
The NBA player inadvertently gave away his American Express black card number away on the internet, after taking pictures and posting them on Myspace. Words cannot capture how big of an idiot he is. You’re in the NBA, why do you need to floss on your myspace account for 17 year old girls? What makes this worse is he’s not even making top NBA money, Stevenson signed a contract for the league minimum after turning down a three year $10 million dollar contract. Then you have to take into account that black cards have a $250,000 minimum spending limit. In terms of professional basketball he’s not making very much money to start, so he should be the last one trying to ball out on the internet….