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1, The California Golden Bears
The Bears were 40 seconds from becoming the #1 ranked football team in the nation, now one week later they’ve lost to 2 unranked teams in a row. Goodbye national championship, see ya later Rose Bowl, hello mediocrity.

2. George Mitchell
We’ve been hearing about how “big name players” would get exposed in this steroid report for many months now, now he’s saying “no decision has been made on whether players will be identified in his investigative report”. What is there to think about? Is anyone involved with baseball concerned with repairing their goodwill with the fans? It does a disservice to people like Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds who have never tested positive for performance enhancing drugs if you decide not to reveal the names in this report. Besides, people love the sight of blood.

3. Walter Bryant
The TCU wide receiver was suspended indefinitely after being arrested for assaulting his wife. Bryant isn’t on this list for being suspended, he’s on it because he got married in college, you big dummy. While NBA players like Justin Williams are having threesomes with their girlfriends and anonymous bar chicks, you’re in jail for pimp slapping your nagging wife…. Oh yeah, thats 50 points in the Criminal Fantasy League also.

4. The New England Patriots
The Patriots sued StubHub, an online ticket reseller, to obtain the names, addresses, and phone numbers of fans who sold their Patriots tickets online. Technically, it’s against state law and team rules for fans to sell their tickets for more than face value, and the Patriots could seek to revoke season tickets of fans caught doing this. If anyone knows how important it is not to break the rules once in a while… it’s the Patriots. Just another reason why so many people hate this franchise.

5. Monday Night Football
In case you haven’t heard, they banned Jimmy Kimmel from appearing on the broadcast again after he told a few jokes the higher ups didn’t like.

What Kimmel did during his appearance this week on ESPN’s Monday Night Football, according to the show’s producer Jay Rothman, was “classless” and “disappointing.” Appearing in the third quarter of a moribund game between the Falcons and Giants, Kimmel took multiple swipes at the not-so-smooth departure of Theismann from the broadcast (”I’d also like to welcome Joe Theismann, watching from his living room with steam coming from his ears”) and zinged sacred cows Tom Brady (”What impressed me most is that he could impregnate two models”), Kelly Ripa (”Listen if we can have a Mormon President, I can marry Kelly”) and sports betting (”Are you allowed to bet legally on this game?”). “It was cheap,” Rothman told Richard Sandomir of The New York Times. “The more he went on, the worse he got.”