Top 5 Reasons Michael Dell Shouldn’t Buy The Miami Dolphins
December 17th, 2007 . by DellHank Goldberg of ESPN reported that Michael Dell of Dell computers is interested in purchasing the Miami Dolphins from Wayne Huizenga over the weekend. 
Huizenga has said he’s not “actively looking” to sell the team, which sounds only half committed to sticking around. The team is 1-13 and not showing any signs of improvement so a sale isn’t completely out of the question.
Do we have any reason to believe Michael Dell won’t pull a Dan Snyder and throw money around luring in overpriced free agents? Aside from that, here are the top 5 reasons we do NOT want to see this happen:
5. The stadium P.A. announcer job will be outsourced to someone in India.
4. It might entice Steve Jobs to buy the Patriots, you thought you hated them NOW?? Can you imagine the commercials?
3. Relentless Dell Dude jokes from ESPN’s broadcast team.
2. When you buy a luxury box the room comes pre-loaded with crap you don’t need.
1. Dell provides cheap prices but customers receive crappy performance for their dollar, which is a stark contrast to the Miami Dolphin franchise…. oh wait….
Isn’t number 3 reason enough by itself?