Normally, when a young talented Hollywood actor passes away, the entire nation comes to a standstill. America honors it’s celebrities as if they are royalty, so their face and achievements are plastered over the airwaves. All of this would have been true today after the passing of Heath Ledger, had it not been for Tom Brady and his protective boot.

Every television channel and website has dedicated precious time and resources to “Boot Gate” and round the clock coverage of Tommy’s injured limb. Understandably, this has left the ghost of Heath Ledger a little angry. Sportaphile spoke to Ledger’s ghost (who is named “Rodney” for some unknown reason) and he vented his frustrations.

“My n-gga, can you believe this bullsh-t??? After all the work me and heath put into our craft, after all the blood sweat and tears, we can’t get a proper sendoff from Entertainment Tonight??”

“We changed the game when we made Brokeback Mountain baby. I know we better have a f-cking mural in Frisco before it’s all said and done. I have folks in Hunters Point so I WILL find out…. F-ck Tom Brady’s foot.. I will give him an extra foot in his ass, and mine is working just fine.”

It’s a good thing the St. Louis Rams owner Georgia Frontiere died on January 19th instead of the 20th, I heard Tom Brady had a toothache that day.