With the NFL Pro Bowl just passing, and the NBA All-Star game coming up this weekend, I thought it would be appropriate to appoint a non conventional team of overachievers.
We see them in post game interviews, we see them on ESPN giving interviews, and we see them on the news…. completely slaying the english language with such skill and grace. These six men should be commended for their endless commitment to creating new words that would leave E-40 speechless. In other words, they could start writing on this blog and blend in seamlessly.
The first award goes to Magic Johnson. Magic is considered one of the pioneers of sporting ebonics, his slanguage has kept us amused in interviews for the last twenty years. You can catch Magic “tawkin bout dem baskitbawls” on TNT.
The second award goes to Dikembe Mutombo. Yes, technically Dikembe doesn’t speak Ebonics because he’s from Zaire, and has a legitimate reason for mangling our language unlike the other award winners. But come on, he’s been in America for at least 15 years and I’ve yet to understand ONE sentence thats come out of his mouth.
The third award goes to Frank Gore. Frank is probably the least known recipient on this list, but since I live in the S.F. Bay Area I’ve had the pleasure of hearing Frank rumble, bumble and stumble through interviews for a good two years now. Not only does he have the thick southern drawl complete with bad grammar, but Frankie also has a speech impediment. So you get a triple combo of unintelligible words, it’s quite fascinating.
The fourth recipient of this award is Roy Jones Jr. Roy’s main problem is that he speaks so fast, that by the time you’ve figured out the last word he just said, he’s already two sentences ahead of you.
The fifth award goes to Ron Artest. I feel like I’ve been picking on Ron, since I chose him as the poster child for the Criminal Fantasy League, as well as pairing him with DMX in the Kindred Spirit list. Ron Artest is special in the sense that he very well may be a schizo. I’ve never seen someone travel so far off topic during an interview in my life. You can ask Ron how his last game was, and the next thing you know he’s talking about Skittles.
We saved the best for last, and OF COURSE we have to give it to Emmitt Smith. What can you say about this guy? Emmitt puts the E in Ebonics. He even has the distinction of being the first person I’ve ever seen use correct english, and then take it back to replace it with the incorrect word…..on air. That’s absolutely amazing.
I can’t believe I snubbed one of the up and coming greats of slanguage. Marshawn Lynch of the Buffalo Bills is a future Emmitt Smith, not just on the field, but in the booth. It was possibly pre-ordained for Marshawn to make this list, because the word “Ebonics” was coined in Oakland, California, which happens to be Marshawn’s (and my) hometown. Marshawn writes a blog over on Yardbarker and it will either be the most confusing, or most hilarious thing you will ever read. Take a look:
u kno 07 was a tough yr to swallow………..we didnt make it 2 the playoffs, but its coo tho cause it give me more reasons to work harder this off season…u feel me tho……i feel i did alright this season but i wanna do even better to help my team get to the playoffs……. but good lookin for supportin the bills all yr we appreciate the support
Keep in mind, just one year ago Marshawn was enrolled in one of the most prestigious colleges in America…