Breaking News: Oakland Raiders Sign Oatmeal To $50 Million Dollar Contract
March 5th, 2008 . by DellIf you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed to receive instant updates.
The Oakland Raiders have left everyone scratching their heads as of late, due to the organization handing out HUGE contracts to questionable players. Guys like Javon Walker and Tommy Kelly both got $50+ million dollar contracts, despite both men having injury plagued seasons in 2007. By the way, who in the hell is Tommy Kelly?
But this latest piece of news will shock the world, the Oakland Raiders have signed Oatmeal to a five year, $50 million dollar contract. No, not a player with the last name Oatmeal, they signed an actual bowl of Quaker Oats. The steaming bowl of porridge was overcome with joy at the press conference in Alameda, California.
“First off, I want to thank god for this opportunity, because without him and General Mills, none of this would be possible. I also want to give shout outs to the homies, Cream of Wheat, Uncle Ben, and my boy grits who is currently incarcerated. Hold your head boy….I got you.
… uhh yeah, I know some of y’all are confused at this partnership, but you are failing to realize that every strong performance starts with a hot bowl of Oatmeal. I look forward to showing what I can do to the citizens of the Bay Area..”
How goes it Chuck? This one made me laugh.. like.. audibly.. loud.
lol thanks.. I was laughing while I wrote it. My tough love for the raiders comes from a genuine place.
Whats been good with you Bigg?
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