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On April 8th, CBS will air the premiere episode of ‘Secret Talents of the Stars’, where celebs like Roy Jones Jr., Ric Flair, and boxing great Joe Frazier show us their hidden stuff. The performances will be critiqued by three judges ‘American Idol’ style, and then voted on by the viewers to decide who the winner is.

Osi Umenyiora of the New York Giants won’t be participating on this particular show, but Sportaphile has uncovered a secret talent of his. Osi’s parents are from the great country of Nigeria, and passed down the ancient art of 419 ‘fundraising’ down to their famous son. Although Osi doesn’t need to scam old white ladies for their life savings, his talent does come in handy negotiating with the New York Giants.

Osi recently decided instead of holding out for a new contract, he could simply craft a letter to the Giants front office. Surely these businessmen would not turn down such a lucrative offer?

Received: from 196.207.15.10 (proxying for 196.207.3.10)
Subject: Greetings!!!
From: “Osi Umenyiora”
Reply-To: osiumenyiora@yahoo.co.uk

APPEALLING FOR BURNT VICTIMS IN KENYA

Dear Brethren in christ,

I am brother Osi Umenyiora of your GIANTS located in NEW YORK CITY. I’m
writing this letter to you all with tear and pain all over my
eyes, because it is barely three months now i return from a crusade in
Kenya, in Africa, I was invisited to that part of the world for the first
time and to be a guest preacher in a church crusade.
It was a great miracle crusade and many gave their life’s to christ
to the glory of God, indeed it was a miraculous crusade, many healings
from various kinds of diseases and sickness, I must say God love our
brethen in Africa.

I have gotten a horrible disease in my travels to Kenya and will require
a small payment of TEN MILLION DOLLAR U.S. in order to get well and
return to your GIANTS of NEW YORK CITY. My sickness is acting quickly
and I eagarly await your help. I cannot in good faith return to training
camp until i am cured. Please note that an account has be open in london to received this
donation. OR you can sent your donation to the assitant pastor of the
church in Kenya through Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram.

MY KINDS REGARDS.
SIR OSI UMENYIORA
Art of God Ministry
37 Park Sq North,
LS1 2NY.
KENYA.
TELL:+44 704 571 4997
Email: osiumenyiora@yahoo.co.uk

[Hollywood Offender]