Every once in a while, certain things happen that can only be explained by a higher power looking out for us. It seems like every week, we post a new story about a random athlete and a random chick claiming to have a illegitimate child. In the last 30 days two important developments in the world of promiscuous athletes have surfaced.

The first is a new cheap DNA testing kit that hit stores on Wednesday. The testing kit requires a saliva sample, and then will be shipped to a facility by the baby mama/groupie/whore in question. The kit is now available in every state in the USA except New York. This is a strong weapon for women all over the country, who knows how much money they can scare out of athletes now.

The second is Lil Jon & Shawty Putt’s new song “Dat Baby”. The song samples The Maury Povich Show, who is known for featuring paternity tests . Why even subject yourself to a silly DNA test when all you have to do is look at the kids face. “Dat baby don’t even look like me” ….. The lyrics to this song are pure poetry.

“I ain’t buyin no Huggies,
don’t dress him like me,
that ain’t my lil buddy”

“I can’t lie, we were doin our thang
but thats a nappy head baby, better try T-Pain
Naw, man I can’t claim him
I’m light skinned, that baby black like Akon nem”

We all know, after a certain level of blackness, it becomes apparent that Akon is the only person who could have fathered the child. Well… him or Wesley Snipes, and that’s it.

Check out the song below…

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]