My picks for last week were absolutely pathetic, it seems as if the OPPOSITE happens for every prediction I make. I have half a mind to have a George Costanza moment, and do the opposite of what I think is right.

OAK @ BAL

Chuck says- Conventional wisdom tells me to pick Baltimore, because there’s no way a horrible team with an interim coach and a rookie quarterback can go into Baltimore and win. The Oakland Raiders have an excellent running game and a horrible passing game, but the Ravens have not allowed a 100 yard rusher in 21 consecutive games…. that means Jamarcus Russell has to win this.

Despite the insurmountable evidence that would prove otherwise… OAKLAND WINS!.. Yes, I’m on my Costanza game. Kirk Morrison is gonna be throwin’ up Seminary after he sacks Joe Flacco. Y’all don’t know nothin about that though.

Risse: Dude, I love your enthusiasm! And after such a stunning win against the NY Bretts last week, I can understand why you are super-duper hyphy hyphy like Keak da Sneak. But let’s not thizz out of control. The Ravens will win this.

KC @ NYJ

Chuck says: Kansas City has two quarterbacks on IR, and their star running back is on the bench. Not even George Costanza is crazy enough to pick them. The Jets Win.

Risse: I think even Herm Edwards, of all people, is wondering why his team has to play this game. NY Bretts get the ‘W.’

ATL @ PHI

Chuck says: Philly is playing at home and Brian Westbrook is appearing to be back in the lineup. Conventional wisdom says Jim Johnson is going to throw so many blitzes at Matt Ryan his head will spin, and Brian Westbrook is going to carve up ATL’s linebackers. Scout Schmout! Im going with the Falcons for the win.

Risse: You know what? I actually am not mad at that pick, Chuck. The Falcons are not playing like those old dirty birds. No sir, they are swooping down on fools this year, getting those wins. But I am still not ready to pick against McNabb. The Eagles pull it out!

SD @ NO

Chuck Says: Both of these teams are so hit and miss, so ass backwards, so wishy washy, that I can’t even determine who is the underdog so I can pick them. Drew Brees and the Saints got trampled last week, and so did San Diego. I guess I’ll ride with New Orleans.

Risse: This game is the one being played in London. Whose bright idea was it to have these two teams fly halfway across the world to play this game? Roger Goodell needs to come up with a better global branding strategy. This one sucks. Chargers win.

TB @ DAL

Chuck Says: The panic is officially on in Dallas. Brad Johnson suddenly looks like a 40 year old, they can’t run the ball, and their secondary is BEYOND terrible. If Tampa Bay plays like Tampa Bay, theres no reason they should lose this game.

With that said I pick Dallas.

Risse: I never thought I would root for any Jon Gruden-lead Bucs team, but there is a first for everything. Brad Johnson will likely play much better this week, especially against his old team, but it’s still going to be much less than spectacular. I can’t wait for the T.O. post-game show. Tampa Bay victory.

WAS @ DET

Chuck Says: The Lions are 0-6 (or is it 0-7)…and this will be their first local blackout in the history of Ford Field. The residents of Detroit will have the luxury of seeing a different team play instead of their lowly Lions. Thats quite unfortunate… because the Lions will get their FIRST WIN of the season and shock the world.

Risse: The Lions will win a game this season, but it certainly won’t be against the ‘Skins. The Lions won’t know what to do with Clinton Portis, and really, how dare you insult my Fantasy boo Jason Campbell like that? All Washington, all day.

STL @ NE

Matt Cassell is slowwwwwly but surely getting into a groove with Wes & Randy and the running game is looking nice with Sammy Morris and Kevin Faulk. New England is flying under the radar at 4-2 and will probably win the AFC East this year. With that said….. I’m riding with the St. Lous Rams, who are playing damned good football under Jim Haslett.

Risse: I am feeling Jim Haslett!! He’s got them drinking the kool-aid in St. Louis, and well, why not take a sip? They just beat the Redskins on the road and then whooped up on those Cowboys. I need another stallionesque performance from Stephen Jackson, but I am not ready to believe they are capable of serving New England in their place. Pats win.

BUF @ MIA

Chuck says: Baltimore shut down Miami’s college offense last week. But don’t y’all know that wildcats have nine lives baby?!?!? Miami will kill the game this sunday. Parcells will bring the hoes and Ricky got that purp… it’s a party in south beach. Dolphins win.

Risse: I think the Wildcat will be working, but when are people going to show the Bills some love? They are 5-1 and Trent Edwards was playing out of his mind last week. Bills get paid this week.

ARI @ CAR

Chuck says: I believe Carolina has the better record, and they also have the benefit of playing at home. But this game will be running on Boldin power, Anquan makes his return this week, and the Cardinals blow out the Panthers.

Risse: I’m glad Anquan is back but after filling in so superbly, I am now a fan of my Fantasy man Steve Breaston! Oh yeah. But what I am about to say is strictly for the ladies, sorry guys: I am going to pick the Cardinals to win because not only is Larry Fitzgerald the best wide receiver in the league this year, he definitely has the best ass. Trust me, it’s certified!

CLE @ JAC

Chuck says: I made the mistake of picking Cleveland last week… and I’m going to make it again. The Browns are powered by the Staph Infection Association of America.

Risse: You are a fool for that! But by the power of Garrard + MJD, I pronounce that the Jacksonville Jaguars will reign supreme in this game. Jags got it.

CIN @ HOU

Chuck says: I can’t pick Houston to win 2 weeks in a row, I simply can’t lower myself. The Bengals get their first win…. WHO DEY? WHO DEY? WHO DEY THINK GONE BEAT THEM BENGALS?

Risse: Chile, puh-leeze! You better get with Houston, we are on the come up baby boy! The latest report is that Carson Palmer is out for the season so it’s officially a wrap for the Bengals. My Texans will win and improve to 3-4 when it’s said and done.

NYG @ PIT

Chuck says: Although it looks like Willie Parker is going to miss another week of football, I think Big Ben and the Steelers can do it.

Risse: I love it how the Super Bowl Champs get no props really. It’s like people almost overlook them. Pittsburgh will definitely be a tough match-up for them. And you know I love me some Palomalu and all that wild hair flying all over the field! Something tells me that Eli Manning will get it together again. Call me crazy, but I think the G-Men got it.

SEA @ SF

Chuck says: Both of these teams are looking real Junior Varsity right now. I’m gonna stick with the Niners and hope Singletary gets his first win.

Risse: Mark your calendars people. Risse is actually picking the 49ers to win. Coach Singletary, you know the hood has your back! Yee!

Mon, Oct 27

IND @ TEN

Chuck Says: UGH…. Am I really going to pick against the best team in football on one of the teams I hate the most? Only a real fool picks against Tennessee. Titans win.

Risse: The Music City will be rocking as they host Monday Night Football. And who better to get served on national TV than big-headed Peyton? I hope Keith Billups and Jevon Kearse grate him alive! I can’t wait. I will keep all my Cashvillians on speed-dial that night. I am sure we will have lots to chop it up about as the Titans win & roll to 7-0.