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BALCO founder Victor Conte has tell-all book ready

April 1st, 2008 . by admin

victor conteBALCO founder Victor Conte is finally ready to tell his side of the story regarding “the steroid era” and the role he played in it. Conte will release BALCO: The Straight Dope on Barry Bonds, Marion Jones and What We Can Do To Save Sports this fall under Skyhorse publishing

This is significant because unlike most of the Mitchell Report, Conte will be able to give first hand accounts of what did and didn’t happen with many athletes. For the last few years, Conte has been proven to be truthful when calling out athletes for taking drugs (namely Marion Jones) so unlike Jose Canseco, we can rest assured there is no ulterior motive for this book.

Conte, in conjunction with co-author Nathan Jendrick, promises to share “the dirt, the drugs, the doses, the names, dates and places, and a ‘prescription’ for a brighter future.”

He promises the “complete truth in its honest, unadulterated and raw form” and says he is “ready to tell the world everything.”

I’ve seen Victor Conte give interviews here on local Bay Area TV stations, and he’s always seemed extremely candid and confident in what he says. Unlike most people involved with steroids and performance enhancing drugs, he doesnt stutter, stammer, and give long pauses when faced with tough questions. Lastly, Victor Conte isn’t scared to speak his mind about how the U.S. gov’t is full of sh-t and plans to do so in ‘the straight dope’.

This book will be a great read to say the least.

This Weeks Losers (Jan 18th)

January 18th, 2008 . by admin

After a long layoff… This Weeks Losers is back!! Mainly because this is the most efficient way of making fun of people.

1. Randy Moss’ Beard
Forget about going to court over your alleged battery of a woman. If you don’t shave that nappy ass beard I’m going to sue you myself. When your neck looks like Roy Jones’ chest… there is a problem.

2. Dana Stubblefield
The former San Francisco 49er plead guilty to lying to federal investigators today, in connection to the BALCO fiasco. I’ve always thought Stubblefield was an overrated player, who benefited from playing next to Bryant Young. This charge will gain him 100 points in the Criminal Fantasy League.

The feds really have it out for rich black people in the last 12 months, off the dome I can name a bunch who have charged with federal crimes.

- Michael Vick
- Marion Jones
- T.I.
- DJ Drama
- Barry Bonds

I’m almost positive I’m missing a few…

3. The Cincinnati Bengals
Stop pissing off your BEST PLAYER!!! It looks like Chad’s been campaigning to be traded, even though coach Marvin Lewis said it’s not happening. Chad took this photo of him holding up a Washington Redskins jersey with his name written on the back. Hmmmm. (thanks to BlackSportsOnline for the pic)

4. Hershel Walker
The former NFL running back is releasing a book this summer that reveals he suffers from multiple personality disorder…. We don’t believe you Hersh, you need more people. How is it your closest friends never knew about this or even suspected anything was wrong?

“I’m probably one of his closest friends and that’s news to me,” said Frank Ros, who was captain of Georgia’s 1980 national championship team. “I knew he was working on a book but I just thought it was about football. He does 100 things at once and always has projects going on, but that blows me away.”

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Criminal Fantasy League – January Update

January 16th, 2008 . by Supreme Nerdmistress

Sportaphile hasn’t updated the Criminal Fantasy League standings since mid-december. As a result, tons and tons of things have piled up. At this point it would take forever to deliver my Pulitzer Prize winning commentary to accompany each story. So we’ll cover them in rapid fire succession.

Did we miss any stories? If so, don’t be afraid to send an email or reply in the comments!
The full updated standings can be found at the bottom of this post.

Sportaphile is gaining tons of new visitors each month, so if you have no idea what the CFL is, CLICK HERE to get the lowdown & rules.

Football
New England Patriots wide receiver Randy Moss has been accused of battering a longtime friend and preventing her from seeking medical attention. Although he hasn’t been arrested yet, we DO give points for “alleged” crimes in a reduced capacity. If he is eventually charged, we will update this point total to the appropriate amount. For now we can chalk up 25 points for Randy and the football squad.

Tennessee dumbass Pacman Jones allegedly punched a divorce lawyer in the face earlier this month. Like Randy Moss, he has not been arrested and will receive a reduced allegation penalty. 25 points for dumb dumb.

Former guard for the Chicago Bears, Todd Burger, was arrested for his part in an alleged internet gambling ring. 100 points for he footballers.
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To be honest, the NBA hasn’t been pullin its weight in the Criminal Fantasy League

January 10th, 2008 . by Stankoniforous One

There are players gettin shot at, having their cribs robbed aka “cracked”, but no one doin the shootin, no one buyin automatic weapons (sorry TI is a balla but not a baller), no b*&^h slappin women in public, no body checkin refs, no arrests, no brawls with fans or other players.  When exactly did the NBA b*#$h up!?  S.O has seen more aggression at high school basketball games.  Who sucked all the fire out of NBA games?   

We are in trouble when coaches are more gangsta than some players *cough Isaiah cough*.  Where’s Nick Van Exel, that brotha was straight up 730.  S. loves Tim Duncan but he has ushered in a movement of quiet dignity, which is good, however, every now and then you need Anthony Mason aka Mase to put a forearm in someone’s grill.  Stank-0 understands The Palace Coup is still fresh in peoples’ minds, but the last big fight was ’Melo sucker punchin someone and then backpedallin out of harm’s way.  WTF!?   

 Stank-0 is upset because he called the CFL for the NBA and then the Mitchell Report upset the apple cart.  The NBA has the players to mount a CFL comeback, but KG has fire not the kind that gets Massah Stern to hand out suspensions.  Ricky Davis is under the thumb of the man Pat Riley, so….he’s out.  Our only hope is the Knicks.  That team has too many volatile personalities and too many losses to keep it together for 82.  Of course there’s always Ron Artest, homey is one bad call away. 

The Stankoniforous One

Criminal Fantasy League Update: Mitchell Report Edition

December 15th, 2007 . by admin

(Updated point standings can be found at the bottom of this post)

Lots of activity for the CFL in the last week or two, including the infamous Mitchell Report. This turned out to be a little trickier than I originally anticipated due to two main issues.

1. The scoring of the CFL is divided into two sections, alleged crimes and proven cases. Thats not to say the alleged cases didn’t happen. But at the end of the day, if you can’t prove it, you can’t prove it. So in this instance unless someone tests positive, gets caught red handed with the drug, or admits to using, there is no proof.

2. Some of the guys mentioned in the report had already been outed (Barry Bonds, Sheffield, Giambi, Matt Williams etc etc).

So after sorting out who admitted to using, who we already knew about, I came up with the following numbers.

- 88 players were named in the report
- 8 players had already been outed, or alleged prior to its release (that leaves 80).
- 12 of those 80 players admitted to using performance enhacing drugs.

12 confessions equal 1,200 points (100 each)
68 remaining allegations equal 3,400 points (50 pts each)

That’s a grand total of 4,600 points for the Baseball in the Criminal Fantasy League in regards to the Mitchell Report.

This point total will continue to grow as more players cave into the pressures and admit to using performance enhancing drugs.

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Arkansas State basketball star Adrian Banks Read the rest of this entry »

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