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Those of you who read my American Gladiators review in early January know that I’m an advocate of the show. NBC almost immediately ordered a second season of the program due to good ratings, so I thought I’d list a few things they can improve on when the show returns.

1. I touched on this briefly in my original review, but it progressively worsened as the season went on. The forced “character traits” are ridiculous.

- Every time the camera is on Wolf, he starts howling and sticking his tongue out like a dog. Then when he gets on the mic he’ll say something like “I haven’t had a meal all day, and it’s time to feast”, while looking at his half naked contestant. Not only is it cheesy, it’s slightly homo erotic… STOP IT.

- Every time Justice is on camera, he starts pumping his arms back and forth (mimicking a judges gavel)… it’s not clever… stop it.

2. Favortism?

It seems like some gladiators get tons of air time, while others are rarely seen. Titan, Justice, Wolf, Crush and Venom seem like they’re in every event…. Stealth and Hellga barely get any airtime. It’s sorta understandable why Hellga is on the sidelines a lot, shes fat compared to the contestants (and I remember that being exploited by contestants during Powerball on one episode), but theres no reason Stealth should be left out. Do a better job of working them in next season.

3. Contestant Vignettes are good… you care more about them winning if you know a little back story first.

4. Bring back the episodes where professional athletes team up against the Gladiators. Even if they’re retired washed up athletes, that would be entertaining. Just picture Freddie Mitchell, Marcus Vick, and Ryan Leaf on the show…. thats good TV.

5. Include the Gladiators in the final Eliminator obstacle course. Remember back in the old show, at the end of the eliminator the contestants had the option of running through 4 pathways? 2 of the pathways contained Gladiators waiting to tackle them, and the other 2 were empty. It creates extra drama at the end of the show…. bring it back.

6. Bring back the Atlasphere! that was one of my favorite events in the original show. It’s fun to watch and looks physically draining as hell.

Anyone who read my rewiew of American Gladiators saw that I loved Hellga the most out of the female cast members. I dug the whole viking woman swedish meatball thing she had going on.

So I heard she was on Carson Daly’s show, so I go search for the clip…and it dawned on me that I had never actually heard her talk before. I don’t think they’ve let handle the mic on Gladiators. …. now I know why.

She sounds like she eats the souls of ten little boys for dinner every night. I’m mortified.

If I were in a dark room and heard Hellga say “was it good for you too baby” I’d run out of the house screaming. Do you guys remember the part of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective when Jim Carrey found out he had kissed a tranny? …. yeah

I’m not calling her a man or anything, I’m just saying if we lived together she would be the one mowing the lawn and killing the spiders.

Shout out to pop crunch for the vid.

I’ve been watching the NBC promos for American Gladiators for the last month or so with a pained expression on my face. They were doing everything in their power to crush my childhood memories of watching this show every Saturday morning. The only reason I decided to tune in after watching football was to confirm my suspicions that all hope was lost.

After viewing back to back episodes I must say, it actually wasn’t too bad. I’ll run down what I consider to be the pros and the cons of the season premiere.

Pros
- Pretty exciting action, the eliminator obstacle course is brutal. The women were so exhausted by the end they looked like they needed medical attention.
- There was an injury within the first 10 minutes of the first episode. Then a woman smashed her forehead at the end of episode two, Americans love the sight of blood.
- Hellga (pictured here). She looks like she could tear up a bucket of fried chicken.
- Laila Ali …. LAILA ALI!!! Shes purty.. plus when one of the contestants got water on her she was about to unleash her inner Shaniqua. She threatened him in the nicest way possible.
- One of the female contestants had major camel toe.

Cons
- It’s extremely overproduced, too many bells whistles, and forced crowd participation.
- The Wolf howl. They practically beat us over the head with it all night. Okay, he’s hairy like a wolf, he doesn’t have to scream like an idiot every 10 seconds.
- I cringed when they made the pacific islander guy start chanting in his native language. I bet you that wasn’t his idea originally.
- Hulk Hogan needs to take it down about 2 notches before he has a heart attack.
- How are you gonna base a show around people with godlike physiques and have a fat ass referee? He looks like he went to audition for “The Biggest Loser” and wandered onto the wrong casting call.

The topic of this post involves two things I don’t particularly care for… swimming and the French, but ‘bare’ with me….

Following in our shameless tradition of providing photos of Kimberly Bell and Kim Kardashian, here are the naked photos of French Swimmer Laure Manaudou. Allegedly, her ex boyfriend Luca Marin got pissed off and leaked these online, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. He denies it of course:

“I know nothing about the video and have only seen the photos. Yes, it looks like it’s really her but it is ridiculous to think it was me who put them there,” Marin told the Italian newspaper Gazzetta dello Sport.

WARNING: The photos are VERY explicit. Not safe for work WHATSOEVER. Clicking the link below is the kinda stuff that will get you fired.

Not only are the pictures explicit… she’s ugly. So you’d get fired for nothing.

Okay… you’ve been sufficiently warned, CLICK HERE TO SEE THE CARNAGE

Shout out to [Epic Carnival for the heads up]

Warning: Be patient and let the images load. Putting this many large files on one page is generally not recommended but the results are well worth it in this case. If you’re one of the fourteen people on earth left using 56k….. may god help you.

If you missed Volume 3 of our sports .gifs Click Here

1. Of course we HAD to include the late Sean Taylor. Check out his earth shattering hit on Eric Frampton of the Detroit Lions. You can see more Sean Taylor hits on YouTube HERE

2. I don’t really know what to say about this one, just watch it. One of the sideline staffers for the Indianapolis Colts has something more than football on his mind. There’s pure lust in his eyes…

3. Lebron James appeared on Read the rest of this entry »