Meet Ghetto Golf, the upcoming sports/action video game.

“Ghetto Golf,” a planned downloadable game featuring a scrappy young guy named Vonte in the Bay Area who has to find and complete tricky holes of golf that are set in the wilds of the city — and in the line of fire of gangsters, cops and enemy golfers.

One of the playable scenes they showed involved the hero Vonte needing to use his exploding golf ball to blow up a car that someone was ghost-riding. The player could sheath Vonte’s machine gun, flick past his spiked golf ball and his rubber golf ball to try his explosive golf ball and aim it with a swing at the car.

This isn’t golf at the Masters. This is golf in the hood.

Normally, I would automatically assume a game like this was cooked up by rich white dudes wanting to exploit the inner city……. but oh no. Ghetto Golf is apparently the child of R&B singer Raphael Saadiq, who has coincidentally made some of my favorite songs. This may look like the “Soul Plane” of video games, and it probably wont outsell Tiger Woods Golf anytime soon….. but yeah I’m still going to give it a shot.

Yes, I’m fully aware of the Tiger Woods foundation, but it’s always seemed like something he threw money at, did photo ops, and politely went about his day not giving a damn. There’s a difference lending your name and cash to something, and REALLY getting out there with your hands in the dirt.

Anyways…. ESPN’s “Outside The Lines” did a segment how there are no black golfers on the PGA Tour and if Tiger Woods was under any responsibility to help black golfers make it. They also interviewed two black golfers who are trying to make it, and asked them what they thought of Tiger’s refusal to get involved.

Tiger Woods will always be able to skirt the issue and mention that he gives money to poor people through his foundation, which is far less invasive than taking a young black golfer under his wing and really making a difference in the sport.

So, we all know Tiger doesn’t HAVE to do anything….. but do you think he should?

I care about his new show on the Golf channel called The Haney Project. If you’ve never seen Charles swing a golf club….. it’s truly the 9th wonder of the world. Check out the commercial below… I laughed for at least 5 minutes.

It premieres on Monday….

The golf channel recruited Samuel L. Jackson to recite Ezekiel 25:17 aka “path of the righteous man” aka “the shit Jules said before shooting someone in Pulp Fiction“. The only thing missing from the commercial are a few well placed curse words. Something like… “TIGER WOODS IS COMING BACK TO THE MUTHAFUCKIN PGA TOUR”.

[shouts to Awful Announcing for the vid]

“For the past several years, the LPGA has impressed upon its membership the importance of communicating effectively in English. As the game’s dominance shifts to the East, the LPGA has strengthened its stance. Learning English no longer is a tour suggestion; it’s a requirement.

At a mandatory South Korean player meeting Aug. 20 at the Safeway Classic, the tour informed its largest international contingent that beginning in 2009, all players who have been on tour for two years must pass an oral evaluation of their English skills. Failure would result in a suspended membership.”

I’m on the fence with this issue, because on one hand, I understand why the LPGA is enforcing this rule, but on the other hand I sympathize with the Korean players. The LPGA wants to keep the game attractive for American sponsors and viewers, and thats hard to do when they can’t understand any of the participants. However, I bitched and moaned when David Stern and the NBA started enforcing a ridiculous dress code on their players, so I’m all for the freedom and individuality of the golfers.

On a side note, you will never see me type this much about women’s golf again…. I just can’t see it happening.

10. Mario Chalmers’ miracle 3-pointer – Kansas was shooting horribly from the arc all night and found themselves down with only 10 seconds left in the game. Chalmers’ big shot sent the game into over time, where his team won of course.

9. D-Wade buys his mom a church – We all love to chat endlessly about sports drama and shine too much light on negativity, but this story with Dwayne Wade was the exact opposite. He bought his mom Jolinda her own church to celebrate her seventh year of sobriety and a remarkable turnaround of her life. Check out the story here

8. The rise of Kimbo Slice – Kimbo Slice went from a YouTube barbarian to a bonafied superstar headlining the first ever MMA event on broadcast television. This knockout of Tank Abbott is the shining moment in his short career so far…

7. Gerald Green’s birthday cake dunk – Gerald didn’t win this year’s slam dunk contest, but he delivered one of the most creative dunks I’ve seen in a while. He sat a cupcake with a lit candle atop the basketball rim, and blew out the candle mid-air before dunking the ball… watch the video below.

6. The Chris Berman videos – Never piss off your underlings when you work in television, because they might release embarrassing footage of you a few years later down the road. Check it out below…

5. Tiger Wins U.S. Open on a bum knee – Tiger ethered the competition in this year’s U.S. Open while struggling with a knee injury (which later turned out to be much worse than anyone anticipated). The putt seen in the video below forced a one-on-one playoff with Rocco Mediate.

4. Kobe, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes – I have NEVER laughed as hard as I did the first time I saw this video in my entire life.

3. Ken Griffey Hits 600th Home Run – Im proud to say this post I wrote about Ken Griffey Jr’s quest to 600 home runs is the most popular in the history of Sportaphile. Griffey’s a great player and a sure fire first ballot hall of famer. Congrats again on reaching 600 (and doing it the right way).

2. T.O. Crying for Tony Romo – I believe Terrell Owens is the best Wide Receiver in the NFL and gets a bad rap from the sports media. However, when he broke down and shed a few tears for Tony Romo after their heartbreaking loss, I couldn’t help but laugh. You can watch the video HERE.

1. NEW ENGLAND LOSES, DOWN GOES BRADY, DOWN GOES BRADY!!! – It is no secret that I am no Patriots fan, and this blog is 100% anti-New England. I once stated that the birth of my unborn first son will be the second best day of my life. The first will be the day the New York Giants upset New England in this year’s super bowl. There’s an entire post dedicated to making fun of the Patriots’ grand failure. Check it out.

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10. Never Back Down: The Movie – Mixed Marial Arts (MMA) is the fastest growing sport in our country and was finally granted its very own major motion picture to introduce it to new fans. Sounds good right? Well too bad the movie was a steaming pile of poo. You can read my review of the film HERE.

9. The L.T. Sissy moment - Ladainian Tomlinson spent the biggest game of his career sitting on the bench pouting, claiming he sprained his MCL and couldn’t go on. However, a few weeks later, Plexico Burress of the New York Giants sprained his MCL, partially tore two knee ligaments, and STILL played in the super bowl (where he had the game winning catch).

8. BET’s Iron Ring – Geez, can MMA catch a break? If the “Never Back Down” movie wasn’t bad enough, BET created a reality show centered around black fighters. The production quality was horrible, the competition seemed unorganized, and they threw rappers into the mix for no apparent reason. PLEASE don’t make a second season.

7. Marion Jones goes to jail – America’s sweetheart, the darling of Track & Field, was sentenced to jail time for lying to federal investigators. A disgraced Marion Jones retired from competition (and also lost all of her money), she should be out of the clink in a few months. Have a look at her prison mates here.

6. Cris Carter snubbed in the Hall Of Fame – Carter is one of the most accomplished receivers the NFL has ever seen, yet he was inexplicably given the shaft in this year’s Hall Of Fame class. His failure to get into the hall this year MAY have implications on Randy Moss and Terrell Owens many years down the road.

5. LeBron’s King Kong Cover – Being that there are not very many black sports blogs around, Sportaphile was one of the first sites to raise the comparison between LeBron’s Vogue cover and King Kong. Do I think Vogue editors delibrately did this in some evil racist plot? Of course not. However, I do think the image of the big aggressive musclebound black man is shoved in our faces too often.

4. The Roger Clemens Saga – One year ago, Roger Clemens was a celebrated hero of baseball. The media threw roses at his feet and worshiped the ground he walked on (much like Brett Favre and Tiger Woods). All of that good will and praise seems like a distant memory, the only athlete to have a faster fall from grace than Roger Clemens is Michael Vick.

3. The story of Karl Malone and Demetrius Williams - Karl Malone’s long lost son Demetrius Williams worked up the nerve to contact his father on his 18th birthday. Instead of a teary eyed reunion worthy of The Oprah Winfrey Show, Karl Malone told Bell that it was “too late to be his dad”, and not to ask for any money. Luckily Demetrius now plays for the Buffalo Bills and hopefully isn’t hurting for any cash.

2. Boston Celtics: The Drama Queens - Between Paul Pierce faking an injury in game one of the NBA finals, and Garnett’s teary-eyed-and-forced-”ANYTHING IS POSSIBLEEEEEEEE” yelp at the conclusion of the series, I was sick of seeing his mug on my television.

1. Sal Paolantonio of ESPN compares Marvin Harrison To A Cop Killer – This is a story that nobody (including sports blogs) picked up for some unknown reason. Sal appeared on a nationally syndicated radio show and drew strong comparisons between Colts Wide Receiver and cop killers. He also seemed disgusted by the fact that Marvin chooses to open businesses in the inner city where he grew up (because the LAST thing poor people need are jobs right?) You can read more about this story here.

BONUS – It’d be wrong if I didn’t mention Major League Baseball blackballing Barry Bonds this year. Barry’s given his heart and sould to the game for the better part of 20 years, and to end his career like this is extremely sad.

Tiger struggled most of the day, and rightfully so since he’s coming off of knee surgery. You could see him wince in pain frequently throughout the course and it was beginning to look like he’d fall just short. The round concluded in dramatic fashion with Tiger Woods alone on the final hole. He could either make the shot and continue, or miss the shot and go home…. in true Tiger fashion he drained the damned thing.

My regular readers already know that I don’t particularly care for Mr. Woods, but as a sports fan… you can’t help but admire what he does in competition. I started out the day rooting against him, but by the final hole I couldn’t help but pull for the guy.

We haven’t seen a professional athlete bring opponents to their knees like this since Jordan. Here’s a video of the dramatic final hole to force a playoff, my homie Starter would appreciate the double fist pump.

[thanks to Awful Announcing for the video]

Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, and some other guy are paired together for the US Open. The “some other guy” is #3 ranked Adam Scott. Who? Yeah, Stank-0 doesn’t know who this guy is either. For the golf fans it gets better.

World’s No. 1 Tiger Woods will be paired with No. 2 Phil Mickelson and third-ranked Adam Scott. Woods and Mickelson played together once before at the U.S. Open, in the 1999′s third round at Pinehurst. The late Payne Stewart won that year, with Mickelson second and Woods third.

Ernie Els, Justin Rose and Geoff Ogilvy make up another trio. Stewart Cink, Sergio Garcia and Vijay Singh will be together. And K.J. Choi, Jim Furyk and Steve Stricker make up the other big-name grouping.

All told, the top 12 players in the world will be accounted for in the four groups.

This year the Open is held at Torrey Pines, which is in the San Diego area. This will be quite interesting. Both Woods and Mickelson have fan base in the area.

The U.S. Open traditionally groups the defending champion, the British Open champion and the U.S. Amateur champion. That would not be affected with Angel Cabrera at No. 22 in the ranking, Padraig Harrington at No. 14 and U.S. Amateur champion Colt Knost not in the field because he turned pro.

Stank-0 isn’t a golf enthusiast, but he will be watchin the opening round of the US Open, advantage Jigga [1].

author’s note: finish line and name the original speaker.

The last straw for Harmon came at the recent PODS championship event, where Daly spent 2 hours in a Hooters corporate tent (most likely drinking). When he emerged from the tent, he had Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden be his caddy for the rest of the day.

“My whole goal for him was he’s got to show me golf is the most important thing in his life,” Harmon said from his golf school in Las Vegas. “And the most important thing in his life is getting drunk.”

Daly spent Saturday at the Hooters “Owl’s Nest” at the tournament, drinking beer, mingling with fans and signing autographs, including one on the back of a woman’s pants.

“I’ve let him know that after his actions of last weekend, we are no longer together,” Harmon said. “In all honesty, I’m a very busy person. I’m willing to help the kid, but until he helps himself and makes golf his No. 1 priority, I’m not his guy.

“Jon Gruden caddying, I thought was ridiculous. I thought he made a circus out of the whole event.”

I hear John Daly has a gambling problem too, he estimates that he’s lost over $50 million gambling away his money. I think we all know how this story is going to end….

2. Sissy Boy (Roger Federer)
I am the #1 Roger Federer hater on the planet. I don’t watch Men’s tennis whatsoever, except when Roger is playing so I can root against him. I begged and pleaded for a certain someone to remind me when Roger’s matchup was a few days ago. They never did, so in turn I missed out on this huge upset. Anytime Federer loses is a reason for celebration.

3. Tiger Woods
Ugh, I almost want to give Tiger Woods his “black people membership” card back, for the sole purpose of revoking it a second time. I already delivered a pretty good rant on Tiger a few days ago, but he still had to be included on this list.

4. LaDainian Tomlinson
The first time I laid eyes upon LaDainian’s (in)Action Figure, I burst out laughing. Remember he spent the biggest game of his career sulking on the bench? Well now we can remember that moment forever. Yes, this is a real toy, buy it here.