If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed to receive instant updates.
I haven’t been following the story of New York. Gov. Eliot Spitzer and his call girl/escort very closely, but this news tidbit from the Chicago SunTimes caught my eye.
Apparently in the unsealed FBI affidavits, a big time client of the escort service “Emperor’s Club” from Chicago was mentioned, and Michael Jordan’s name instantly surfaced as a possible candidate. That’s powerful stuff right there, just think about it. All someone has to do is mention a whore’s name in Chicago and the immediate reaction is “Michael Jordan”.
Corporations kill for that kind of name association.
Jordan’s money grubbing lawyer Frederick Sperling jumped all over this and put the rumors to bed, “I have just received confirmation from Assistant U.S. Attorney Rita Glavin in New York that our client Michael Jordan is neither a subject nor a target of this investigation.”
Michael has the white girl market cornered so thoroughly that you can’t touch a midwestern gal without going through him first. Mike is doing for Chicago what O.J. did for Los Angeles in the late 80s. The only difference is MJ may love white girls, but O.J. loved white girls to death. *RIMSHOT!*
Former track star Marion Jones began her six month federal prison sentence this afternoon at the Federal Medical Center Carswell, located on the Naval Air Station, Joint Reserve Base in Fort Worth. It appears Marion got “somewhat” of a deal because this particular prison specializes in medical and mental health services, but has select inmates who don’t require that kind of care (Jones).
After frequently denying ever having used performance-enhancing drugs, Jones admitted she had lied to federal investigators in November 2003. Jones also admitted lying about her knowledge of the involvement of Tim Montgomery, the father of her older son, in a scheme to cash millions of dollars worth of stolen or forged checks.
I figured this would be the perfect chance to take a look back at our profile of Marion’s potential prison mates. Big Shirley will give Marion all the love and care she can muster.
1. Andy Pettitte is terrified of going to jail, even if it means ratting out his best friend. He’s singing like a canary to get this mess behind him. I hope Roger never did anything “at bandcamp”, or Andy’s telling.
2. Debbie Clemens admitted to taking two ‘test shots’ of HGH because Brian McNamee suggested it. She made it seem like he forced her into taking this, when in reality her vanity issues were the most likely cause.
3. Although his best friend, wife, and personal trainer have all admitted to dealing with performance enhancing drugs, Roger claims he knew absolutely nothing about any of it.
I believe this extraordinary act of lying in the face of mountainous evidence puts Clemens in the “O.J. Simpson” category. Or Shaggy in the “It wasn’t me” video from back in the day. She caught you naked on the bathroom floor Shaggy… just admit it!!
Whatever happened to friends to the end, like Greg Anderson aka G-Money? Greg did two stints in jail to get Barry Bonds’ back, refusing to talk to prosecutors who were hot on his boy’s trail.
I’ve had my fair share of stalkers (okay okay, just one), so I can relate to Michael Jordan’s new lawsuit against Lisa A. Miceli. I believe instead of taking her to court (or Maury), he should have broken down his feelings in a way she understands. Theres no song on earth that explains to a woman that she is a sideline ho better than “What these b-tches want” by Sir DMX.
Let’s analyze the lyrics by the esteemed scholar from Yonkers, Mr. X
I f-ck with these h0es from a distance
The instant they start to catch feelings
I start to stealin they sh-t
then I’m out just like a thief in the night
I sink my teeth in to bite
You thinkin life, I’m thinkin more like - whassup tonight? Come on ma, you know I got a wife
and even though that p-ssy tight I’m not gon’ jeapordize my life
Michael was trying to get Lisa to kick rocks so Juanita wouldn’t run off with half of his fortune, but his resistance was futile. In the second verse of the song, Mr. X lists off the names of his various conquests, which further details the insignificance of just one woman.
(if you’re at work, it would probably be best if you didn’t watch the video.. or at least put some headphones on)
On a completely unrelated note, doesn’t Jordan’s ex wife Juanita look like Burt from Sesame Street?
After a long layoff… This Weeks Losers is back!! Mainly because this is the most efficient way of making fun of people.
1. Randy Moss’ Beard
Forget about going to court over your alleged battery of a woman. If you don’t shave that nappy ass beard I’m going to sue you myself. When your neck looks like Roy Jones’ chest… there is a problem.
2. Dana Stubblefield
The former San Francisco 49er plead guilty to lying to federal investigators today, in connection to the BALCO fiasco. I’ve always thought Stubblefield was an overrated player, who benefited from playing next to Bryant Young. This charge will gain him 100 points in the Criminal Fantasy League.
The feds really have it out for rich black people in the last 12 months, off the dome I can name a bunch who have charged with federal crimes.
- Michael Vick
- Marion Jones
- T.I.
- DJ Drama
- Barry Bonds
I’m almost positive I’m missing a few…
3. The Cincinnati Bengals
Stop pissing off your BEST PLAYER!!! It looks like Chad’s been campaigning to be traded, even though coach Marvin Lewis said it’s not happening. Chad took this photo of him holding up a Washington Redskins jersey with his name written on the back. Hmmmm. (thanks to BlackSportsOnline for the pic)
4. Hershel Walker
The former NFL running back is releasing a book this summer that reveals he suffers from multiple personality disorder…. We don’t believe you Hersh, you need more people. How is it your closest friends never knew about this or even suspected anything was wrong?
“I’m probably one of his closest friends and that’s news to me,” said Frank Ros, who was captain of Georgia’s 1980 national championship team. “I knew he was working on a book but I just thought it was about football. He does 100 things at once and always has projects going on, but that blows me away.”
I haven’t been following the story of New York. Gov. Eliot Spitzer and his call girl/escort very closely, but this news tidbit from the Chicago SunTimes caught my eye. 
Former track star Marion Jones began her six month federal prison sentence this afternoon at the Federal Medical Center Carswell, located on the Naval Air Station, Joint Reserve Base in Fort Worth. It appears Marion got 
Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. We should all be mad at Roger for insulting our intelligence. 
