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In Search Of The NFL’s 2008 Villain

September 16th, 2008 . by admin

Part of the joy of sports from a fan’s perspective is finding a team or player to hate. Sure, it’s great to root for your home town team, it’s great to follow a team for your whole life and stick with them through thick and thin, it’s great to want someone to succeed.

But on the flip side, you can’t have a hero unless there’s a great villain nearby.

When Tom Brady blew out his knee in the opening game of the season, it left a void deep in my soul. Here we are approaching week 3 and I find myself unsatisfied… I simply don’t have anyone I strongly dislike enough to root against. I need to pray for the demise of a good team and their leader to save my NFL season.

By process of elimination…. Aaron Rodgers will step into Tom Brady’s shoes as my most hated athlete of 2008. Unlike Tom, Aaron hasn’t done anything to me or my favorite teams…. but the fact that he’s doing so well coupled with the sour taste of how the Packers front office handled the Favre situation makes him a prime candidate.

Right about now.. you’d be hard pressed to find anti-Aaron Rodgers folks on the internet, he’s doing so damned well that his haters are silent. But not I…..It’s never any fun to root against a team that already sucks, and I needed to choose someone successful.

Here’s to praying for Aaron’s demise in 2008.

Salute!

The death of the Patriots

February 6th, 2008 . by Stankoniforous One

Pats fan

No this is not another “karma caught up with the Pats” post.  The Pats are done quite simply because the Giants provided a Technicolor, hi def blueprint on how to beat the Patriots.  Stank-0 is certain every team will dissect Super Bowl XLII more than the Zapruder film. 

Exhibit A, the St. Louis Rams.  After they lost in the Super Bowl, it’s been a tailspin.  It’s like they discovered coke, hookers, and purp at the same time. 

In any case, if you weren’t watching the action away from the ball, Stank-0 was and this is what he saw. 

 The GMen did the following:

  • Put their best cover corner, Sam Madison, on Randy Moss.  Sounds like what everyone does, right?  WRONG!  Madison followed Moss everywhere he went on the field.  He was on him like a wage garnishment on a dead beat dad. 
  • Madison got physical with Moss, that doesn’t happen often with Moss.  Madison played bump-and-run with Moss all night long.  Notice that we didn’t hear Moss’ name much during the Super Bowl.  There’s a reason, his name is Sam Madison. 
  • Hit Brady, alot.  Whether they sacked him or not, someone hit him or pushed him, or hurried him.
  • Borrowed from the Iggles (Eagles) and blitzed heavily.  Kawika Mitchell was in the backfield so much he needed to switch jerseys.   
  • Attacked the aging linebacker corp, borrowing from the Ravens’ game.  They have HOFers at linebacker, aging HOFers at linebacker, and it showed. 

To quote Star Wars, balance has been restored to the universe.  Ain’t life grand…unless you live in Boston, HAHAHAHAHA!

 PS the above photo is real, it is not photoshopped

The Definitive Anti New England Patriots Propaganda Photo Post

February 4th, 2008 . by admin

I believe purging all of my Patriot hate into one post could be therapeutic for me, therefore I have combed the internet back and forth and present to you the following. Every single poorly photoshopped anti Pats picture, video, and rant I could find in the last three hours. Enjoy. I got at least 4 of these pics from KSk so shout out to them.

If you have a photo or video that I haven’t included, feel free to drop it in the comments section please.

Patriots 18-1 Chokers
Patriots Suck Balls
Bill Belichick Crying Sore Loser
Cartman Licks Belichicks Salty Tears
18-1 Never Forget Aqua Teen Hunger Force Patriots

more photos below.. Read the rest of this entry »

When did Jerry Rice morph into a lil b*&#h!

January 14th, 2008 . by Stankoniforous One

Jerry, aka the GOATAWR, can you please sit down somewhere!?, It’s not about you anymore. What happened to all your class and dignity?! Moss, aka Mr. Requires a double team, wasn’t even talkin about you. He was referring to the media but you had to insert yourself into the conversation. Jerry, you are first ballot HOF to even casual football fans. You are the blueprint, the path that other WRs follow. We even forgave you for continuing to play and tarnishing your legacy with that Raider stint.

Remember Jerry that records are meant to be broken. Take a page from Hank Aaron’s response to Barry Bonds breaking his record. Be gracious and move on. Moss didn’t get drafted onto a team with ships (championships) and rangs (championship rings) and a starting HOF QB and a sitting HOF QB. Moss has been carrying QBs his entire career. He is simply the most athletic WR to ever lace them up, and he was teamed with a HOF QB for the first time. Did you really think Moss wouldn’t come for a some of your records?! Then MAN UP!

This is your first outburst, but don’t let this happen again.

The Stankoniforous One.

If New England Goes 16-0 I’ll Put Tom Brady In The Site Banner

October 15th, 2007 . by admin

Thats how confident I am this is NOT gonna happen. Brady will grace the front page of Sportaphile if his team can win every game this season.

The media hysteria with New England is getting unbearable, last week the topic was Brett Favre’s divinity, now they’ve moved on to the immortal Patriots. How has everyone forgotten this very same team was caught cheating four weeks ago? I know it’s a good team, I know it’s a great team, I know they’re playing amazing football, but to crown them as undefeated after five games is a little much.

This is the best offense I’ve ever seen.” – Keyshawn Johnson

cheatiesne9.jpgDuring last nights broadcast of Football In America, Chris Collinsworth said this was “maybe the best team I’ve ever seen“. Really, Chris? After five games? What is it about broadcast journalism that makes everyone want to overreact and draw wild comparisons to get their point across? Do we all fully comprehend how tough it is to go undefeated in an NFL season? Do we all recognize that it’s only happened once in the history of the league?

Every year, around week 8 or so theres an undefeated team and everyone starts yapping about breaking the 1972 Dolphins record. Like clockwork that undefeated team always succumbs to the pressures and loses. The law of averages and history is on my side here, the Patriots will not win out.

The further illustrate my devotion to anti-Patriotism, I will be rooting for Indianapolis to defeat Brady & Co on November 4th. Some of my visitors may remember my declaration of contempt for all things Peyton Manning last month. But I will make an exception in this case.

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