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I like Brett Favre. So unlike my previous edition of ‘Playa Hatin’, this has less to do with Brett himself, but moreso the media who has their lips firmly planted on his behind. He is without a doubt a hall of fame quarterback. Yes he plays the game with the excitement of Michael Vick mixed with the classic quarterback passing of Dan Marino. Yes he’s a virtual ironman, playing a zillion consecutive games, some with a broken throwing hand.
But could we please give it a break??
Am I the only one noticing how everyone in the media is falling all over themselves to kiss the ground Brett walks on? The very same media who widely called for his retirement in September of last year? At the start of last season, you could barely watch TV without hearing some random schmuck saying Favre was over the hill and selfishly hanging on. Now that the Packers are on top of the world, we get to see those very same schmucks put Brett in their “Top 5 Quarterbacks Of All Time” list.
The compliment of choice this month is Brett Favre’s “boyish enthusiasm” while playing the game. Seriously, this is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever heard. Brett is like ninety three years old, with a head full of gray hair, and all I ever hear is “he’s like a little kid, look at him!”.Joe Sports Fan captured some of the ridiculousness thats spewed in relation to Favre. Check these gems out:
“I think with Brett Favre, the smile that he still has, it must have been the same kid running around in Kiln, Mississippi, it’s still the same kid, except he’s running around often in the cold and the snow in Green Bay thrilling everybody. Congratulations Brett!”
“And you know what? I don’t care whether people are Packers fans or whatever, I’ll reiterate what we said, rooting for Favre is like rooting for America.” – Chris Berman
It’s impossible for me to type a ‘LOL’ big enough to capture the hilarity in this whirlwind of asskissing. I wonder who Read the rest of this entry »
Now normally, I wouldn’t care about a random athlete putting his name on an ugly pair of shoes since it’s a fairly common occurrence. But since I hold a light grudge against Gilbert Arenas, and it’s been a slow news day… I’ll partake in this.
Presenting the GilIIZero’s (Pronounced Gil 20s) by Adidas.
Just look at them, I want you to let the ugly of these shoes marinate in your retinas for a moment. Let the visual stank simmer and soak into your corneas. I’ve heard that Gilbert Arenas ran a blog, but I never took the time to visit until today. After seeing these shoes I just HAD to go read what was going through his mind when he decided to put his name on these things.
In true Gilbert Arenas fashion, this guy is delusional about the situation. He even says the prototypes the designers created originally were uglier than these. Check it out:
And I’m sitting there looking at the shoe like, “I hope you guys aren’t serious. Because I’m not going to wear this shoe.” If you can picture this shoe, it looked like a newer shell toe mixed in with a little basketball and a little bit of ballerina in the front. So I looked at the shoe and I straight killed it. I killed it so much I think I made everybody uncomfortable. How do I go from the Gil Zero to this? That was my whole argument. Nobody is going to wear this shoe.
So through all that process of tearing down and getting rid of and complaining and complaining, this is what we have. Now we have the Lamborghini of shoes. Not to say Hondas are bad, but we have the Lamborghini of shoes now. I think everybody is going to dig this shoe.
I’m a trend setter, people. I don’t want other shoe companies to try to jack my style now. My swag is too phenomenal. If any other basketball player out there wants to compete with my shoes, go ahead, we can have a 50 and Kanye right here. We can start it up, baby. I’ll be the bad guy. We can have a sneaker war.
When you’re on top of the world, raking in money from your physical gifts and endorsements, sometimes you get a little overconfident. The following is what happens when none of the yes men in your entourage wants to say, “Yo son, … you wildin right now”.
I know you’re expecting to see Shaquille O’neal on this list, but you won’t. Shaq had a few slappers in his heydey, and a platinum plaque too, so SOMEBODY was listening. They just don’t want to admit it.
Tony Parker
If theres anything that’s NOT hip hop… It’s France. I wish I could have sent a bunch of Germans to this video shoot to see if Tony would run. Plus, I have to take a shot at Eva… it’s the hater in me.. sorry.
The 1984-5 49ers – “We’re the 49ers”
After steamrolling the dolphins in the 1984-85 Super Bowl, someone thought it was a good idea to go make a song. Even though this came out first, the Chicago Bears Super Bowl Shuffle became more popular, probably because it was a better song. Nobody beats San Francisco men in a sucking contest. (pause..)
Carl Lewis
In possibly the worst live performance in the history of music… Carl mangled the national anthem. We were just going to include that video alone, but you’d be surprised just how hard it is to find the full version of Carl singing the national anthem is. It’s almost like he’s on a personal mission to rid it from the world. But this one is ALMOST as bad.
I can’t stand Peyton Manning. Even before he won the superbowl I couldn’t stand him. It seems like in every other commercial I see, this long headed goof pops up on the screen with his incredibly bad acting. Then when the commercials go off and the game comes back on, the commentators completely ignore the game and start creaming their pants at Peyton’s every action. He hasn’t missed a game in an eternity, if ever, so nothing would warm my heart more than to see him take one of those Joe Theisman type hits. Watching the colts dismantle the Saints last night made me sick. Here are four reasons why he makes me sick.
1. His obese forehead. Manning’s forehead is like someone having a booger on their face, you don’t want to mention it but you just CAN’T stop staring at it. Remember that mole scene in Austin Powers? He must have the same ancestors as Helen Hunt.
2. He’s gonna break Dan Marino’s passing records. Dan Marino is a football god, he had the unfortunate circumstances of playing in the same era as the 49er and Cowboy dynasties. Now this nancy boy and his frisbee football team are on pace to break his records, which brings me to…
3. The Colts play sissy football. Football is supposed to be a mans game, it prides itself on being tough and mildly dangerous. That element is gone when you’re playing on carpet away from the elements. What happened to slugging it out in the rain, when its 20 degrees outside? Remember how awesome that snow job game was between the Patriots and Raiders during the playoffs? You can’t pull that shit in a heated dome with Manning and his soft receivers running around. I call it frisbee ball.
4. Indianapolis Sucks. How can a city that big be so ass backwards and boring? Indianapolis is what happens when you take a bunch of people who used to live on farms and put them all in the same place. Seriously though, they’re damned near in Canada and still talk with country accents.
Am I the only one noticing how everyone in the media is falling all over themselves to kiss the ground Brett walks on? The very same media who widely called for his retirement in September of last year? At the start of last season, you could barely watch TV without hearing some random schmuck saying Favre was over the hill and selfishly hanging on. Now that the Packers are on top of the world, we get to see those very same schmucks put Brett in their “Top 5 Quarterbacks Of All Time” list.
