Out there somewhere on the streets of Tampa, some Cubano young’ns are on the lam. Five members of the Cuban national soccer team are nowhere to be found, raising suspicions that they may have defected. This definitely can’t be good news for Raul. Al Davis strikes again!
It gets better:
Gonzalez also confirmed that there was no security plan in place around the Cuban team to avoid defections. The team was staying at the Doubletree Hotel Tampa Westshore Airport.
Who made sure the hotel doors were padlocked? It had to be obvious that the first chance available someone was gonna vamp out. It’s almost like Gonzalez was begging players to defect. How hard is it to catch a cab? Language barrier, the reader might say. It’s FLA, at least 5 out of 10 cabbies have to speak Spanish.
The five players, who are ghost, leaves the Cuban team with only 13; of which 12 are available to play after Linares received a red card in the 1-1 draw against the United States.
What’s worse is the Cuban team might have to forfeit the rest of the tournament. Now the international politics part is of no concern, but an undeserving team might become an Olympic qualifier because of this.
Has anyone noticed that I’ve dedicated several posts to David Beckham on this site, and not one of them had anything to do with soccer? That’s because it’s boring and nobody watches it.
But the other reason I’m posting this is because Rambo was the single greatest movie I’ve seen this year. You simply haven’t seen a good movie until you’ve seen someone get a 3 foot section of their body torn off with the .50 cal.
Anyways, on to the story.
Sylvester Stallone recently told reporters that he strongly considered casting David Beckham as the new Rambo.
“”I knew that David Beckham would be received as a superstar when he came to America. Actually, I thought that maybe I should put him in the new Rambo film and chase him around the jungle for a couple of months.”"
Stallone went on to say that Rambo was the most physically exhausting thing he’s ever done, and that it made shooting the Rocky movies look like ballet. David shouldn’t have had any problem acting in the jungle, he runs around on a soccer field for 3 hours pretending to care every week. Stallone must have gotten the memo that although Beckham is interested in movies, he prefers the ones with nekkid beezies.
A little over a month ago, Snoop Dogg announced he and David Beckham were starting a new line of slippers. That was slightly odd, but whatever… Snoop is known to like his slippers so I let it go. Now Snoop and Beckham are gearing up to make an adult film. Unfortunately for New England Patriot fans, Snoop and David will not actually appear in the movie themselves, they’re just putting money and fame behind the project.
According to the Daily Star, the LA Galaxy midfielder, who is friends with Snoop Dogg, said that he did not want an acting role in any blue movie. Instead, Dogg attempted to persuade Beckham to finance a new porn film.
“I want him to put up the money for a movie we want to do,” he said. “We like the same type of movie.
“He (Beckham) said, ‘I don’t want to act’ and I replied, ‘You don’t have to act – why don’t you just finance it?’”.
Does anyone else get the sneaking suspicion that David doesn’t really want to take part in any of these ventures, but the allure of being Snoop Dogg’s new friend is too much to resist?
I’ve already heard some good movie title ideas….
Snoop Dogg and David Beckham Present:
Hot Soccer Moms, Taking it Balls Deep
Snoop Dogg and David Beckham Present:
“Illegal Use Of The Hands”
Snoop Dogg and David Beckham present:
“Tax Shelter XXX : No One Takes It Up The Ass”
Same people. Different professions. Some of the biggest and best athletes have cosmic rapper twins who display the same behaviors and attributes. Take a look.
1. Ron Artest / DMX - If Ron Artest and DMX got busted in a barn with 3 pounds of coke, a goat, and a copy of “8 minute abs”…. none of us would be THAT surprised. This comes from the fact that they’re both probably a little mental. When Ron Artest or DMX get on a microphone theres no telling whats going to come out of their mouth.
2. Wes Welker/Eminem - Em and Wes never got the memo that white boys weren’t supposed to be that good at receiving and rapping, and we love them for it anyways.
3. Jim Brown/Ice-T - “POWER TO THE PEOPLE, LETS STOP POLICE BRUTALITY, I LOVE MY NUBIAN SISTAZ, “wait… is that a white girl over there? I’ll have one of those…”
4. Ricky Williams/Redman - Ricky and Redman are both MUCH better at what they do than they will ever get credit for. Mostly due to the fact that they would rather smoke weed than anything else.
5. The Rock / Ice Cube – You were good. You were REALLY good. But somehow the allure of making mediocre movies was stronger than continuing your true calling in life.
6. Tim Duncan/Talib Kweli - Talib and Timmy both have reputations for being true technicians at their craft. Despite their superior skill and dedication, they’re both BORING as all hell, and most people can’t be too bothered to care about them one way or another.