Serena Williams has the key of life locked in her booty, and I cannot be convinced otherwise. If you traveled to Africa and studied heiroglyphics etched on pyramid walls, you would see the prophecy of this woman’s hind quarters.

Don’t understand our government’s economic bailout? The answer is in her booty.
Wanna know who’s winning the election? The answer is in her booty.
When will America leave Iraq? … Check the cheeks homie.

Serena’s ass knew who shot J.R.

… Oh yeah, and shout out to Serena for being the only black celebrity willing to get her hair wet in full view of paparazzi.

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I knew something like this would happen…..when I broke up with Serena Williams a few years ago, I gave her the Celie curse. Until you do right by me…..

So fast forward to 2007.

I find out Serena Williams has been seen with rapper Common, the two appear and various functions arm and arm and couldn’t seem to be happier. Until Serena posted this entry on her blog the other day. She either has a budding career as a fiction writer or Common just ran the okie doke on her.

Weeks turn into months and you no longer talk to anyone else just him. And then it happens. No not the “L” word. But what you have been most afraid of. What deep in your heart you have been afraid to confront. What you always suspected would happen one day sooner or later. HE STOPS CALLING. You panic. But you try to stay calm. He did this before when you first started talking, but u tried to forget it. He disappears for 2 days no phone call. No answer to yours no nothing. This is the very reason you begin to think why your heart was in that steel enclosure. The reason you don’t put your emotions your feelings, your heart into any man. Because one day it always turns into this day, but you are already too far out you are at the point of no return, you can’t come back. You are too far gone. You can’t believe, although a piece of you does believe it.

Slowly as you try to focus on other things and think of other people you put you heart back into that steel case. And throw away the keys. Tears make you feel a little better, but the pain is piercing through your soul.

I MAY take Serena back, given her phone calls do not conflict with the NFL playoff schedule.

Look at this photo from back in November, the signs of neglect were there! Serena is freezing and Common just wants to get inside to eat a tofu burger or something.