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Kobe, How Does Beno Udrih’s Ass Taste?

October 15th, 2008 . by Dell

This video off Udrih killing Kobe with his ball handling skills is all over the internet, it had to happen sooner or later. You know what this means right? When Kobe plays the Sacramento Kings in the regular season he’s going to torch them for 60 points.

No Bitchassness Allowed: Lamar Odom

October 9th, 2008 . by Risse aka TownBiz

Fix your face (and your game), L.O.

It looks like the crusade has found its first victim. Yes, it is still the preseason, but really, L.O. is getting called out because he has been in the league too long to still be underachieving in this manner. It seems like he is starting off this year where he left off in the Finals. That should be beyond scary to Jack Nicholson and the rest of the Lakers fans/groupies.

Last night, in 20 minutes of play, he had three points, five rebounds and three assists–all running the point. Did I mention that he also had five fouls? And you know the Zenmaster Phil Jackson is not one to mince words. His response? “I just got through telling him that this is really basketball now,” Jackson said Wednesday. “He looks like he’s either curling or doing some other kind of sport. He’s not playing basketball.

Ouch.

Odom tried to downplay all the hate by saying it’s just the first game in preseason. I am almost willing to put a dub sack on it that Odom won’t be in Lakerland come the playoffs. Kobe just ain’t having it this year. Man up.

NBA Basketball: No Bitchassness Allowed

September 30th, 2008 . by Risse aka TownBiz

Continuing our weeklong celebration of NBA training camps opening this week, we give the people what they want and turn our eyes to teams in Sportaphile’s own backyard, breaking down the grind that is the Western Conference’s Pacific Division:

(Last year’s record)

(48-34) When things go bad, they sure do fall apart quickly. First, the Warriors win 48 games but still miss the playoffs. Then the front office fronted on its offer to Baron Davis, resulting in Boom Dizzle going Hollywood, albeit to the Clippers. Then there’s Monta. So truthfully, I don’t know what to make of the messy Golden State affairs. I don’t even think newcomer Coery Maggette and Captain Jack will be able to S.O.S. this thing before it capsizes. I hate to say it but I think the Warriors can RSVP right now for the 2009 Draft Lottery.

(23-59) It sure must feel good to be back at home for Baron Davis. He has gotten on the Boom Dizzle diet plan courtesy of Jenny Craig and is having a grand ol’ time chilling with Cash W. and Jessica Alba and all his other celebrity cronies. Even without Elton Brand, who surprisingly dipped to Philly, things still look promising for LA’s stepchild team. With the addition of Marcus Camby, I really think the Clips can have about 40-44 wins, which might even leave enough in the tank to trump whoever is hanging on for that final playoff spot. Read the rest of this entry »

Michael Jordan and Shaq Breathe A Sigh Of Relief….

June 17th, 2008 . by Dell

It’ll never be admitted or acknowledged, but I know Shaquille O’neal and Michael Jordan smiled as the Boston Celtics hoisted their championship trophy last night.

Kobe Bryant has been flirting with that “possible greatest ever” title for many years now, but with a team mate like Shaq it was hard to be recognized as an individual. Kobe could never be truly compared to Jordan with a dominating beast like Shaq helping him out…. it was too easy. So the Lakers shipped O’neal away, and Kobe began his journey to a 4th championship.

This mythical fourth championship means A LOT to Kobe’s legacy, especially since Shaq earned another just two years after departing from the Lakers. If Bryant were to go the rest of his career without winning at least two more, he could never be mentioned in the same breath as M.J. Similarly, if he fails to win at least one more, Shaq will always be viewed as the main reason L.A. had a dynasty in the early 2000s.

Last night, The Boston Celtics gave MJ and Shaq the gift of peaceful sleep…at least for another 12 months.

“He’s Alright, But He’s Not Real…”

June 12th, 2008 . by Dell

Kobe may be the best player to step on an NBA floor since Jordan retired… but he’s no Michael Jordan. It almost hurts me to say that, because I’m a Kobe fan.

The Boston Celtics clawed themselves out of a 24 deficit and went on to stun the Lakers on their home floor tonight, extending their season series lead to 3-1. Although the series isn’t officially concluded, theres about a 0.1% chance the Lakers can dig themselves out of this hole.

I just don’t think Kobe can be “the chosen one” and let this sort of thing happen to his team in the NBA finals. Letting someone come in and do this on your home floor is completely inexcusable.

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