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In the latest Batman movie The Dark Knight, theres a discussion about the motivation that some criminals might have. On rare occasions, the criminals don’t want any money, they don’t want any fame, they don’t want any revenge, they simply commit crimes just to see the sheer havoc that ensues as a result of their actions.

That explanation suits me perfectly in this case, because I would LOVE to see the Green Bay Packers tank this season. I want Aaron Rodgers to take the field and completely bomb out under the pressure. I want this Super Bowl caliber team to lose both games against the lowly Detroit Lions next season. I want the fans to riot in the stands and call for the head of Ted Thompson because he drove away Brett Favre.

Why do I wish this much ill fortune on the Packers?…… Just because it’d be entertaining to watch.

Nothing more.

Caleb Campbell was just months from a life of sitting on the bench by day, and scoring trickle down coochie from Calvin Johnson by night as a member of the Detroit Lions.

But now he has a pretty good chance of being sent to Afghanistan or Iraq on behalf of the U.S. Army. Campbell attended West Point Military Academy and was picked by the Lions in the seventh round of the NFL draft in April. Before entering the NFL draft he was told that he’d be able to serve as a military recruiter while simultaneously living his football dreams, but a policy change by the Department Of Defense changed everything.

In a letter to Lions president Matt Millen dated Wednesday, U.S. Army Lt. Col. Jonathan P. Liba wrote that Campbell has been ordered to give up professional football for “full-time traditional military duties.”

Campbell will be able to request a release from active military duty in 2010 (and we all know how NFL teams just LOVE 7th round draft picks that haven’t played in two years).

This is probably the most screwed story I’ve heard all week, is the armed forces THAT strapped for soldiers that they need to pull people out of the NFL? Maybe the tried and true method of trolling for young black & latinos men in the hood is becoming ineffective.

NFL Cornerback Charles Woodson started up his own wine company recently, and scheduled a launch party in Ann Arbor, Michigan this weekend.

All is well right?…. Not Quite.

The NFL caught wind of this party and kindly notified Charles Woodson that Roger Goodell implemented a rule disallowing all players from promoting alcoholic beverages. The rule was put into place because if a superstar athlete is peddling alcohol it might influence minors to run out and buy a 40oz to be just like Reggie Bush or something.

However, those same teens WON’T be persuaded to buy alcohol from the four billion Budweiser, Miller, and Coors commercials that air during NFL games. What about a teenager going to an actual NFL game, I guess they must ignore all the beer being sold there.

This rule is almost as bad as the time Roger Goodell pick and choosed who he wanted to suspend for violating the very same rule.

[Deadspin]

Not only is he the best tight end in the modern era, he’s now officially a “life saver”. Tony recently spotted a man choking on steak at a restaurant he was attending, and performed the Heimlich maneuver when nobody else in the building stepped up to help.

Tony had never actually done the Heimlich Maneuver before but mimicked the motions he thought was right.

This picture from the premiere party for Madden 2009 features ex-cover boys for the popular video game (minus Michael Vick, because he’s sorta busy right now).

Daunte Culpepper is freaking HUGE.

Look how big Daunte is compared to Ray Lewis, who will go down as one of the most fearsome linebackers to ever play the game. Daunte looks like he ties Ray’s shoes before he leaves the house every morning. Quarterbacks just arent’ supposed to be that damned big, it’s amazing he doesn’t have a job (yeah yeah I know, quarterbacking isn’t about how big you are).

Maybe Jacksonville will give him a job.